How to Deal with the Disappointment of a Negative Pregnancy Test

When you first try to conceive, it is life-changing, fun, and exciting. However, if you are not one of the lucky ones who get pregnant in their first month of trying, you realize this journey comes with a lot of disappointments.

The worst part about trying to conceive is dealing with a negative pregnancy test. Whether this is your first cycle trying to conceive or you have been going through infertility for a while now, a negative pregnancy test will always be disappointing.

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This post will guide you through five steps that will help you overcome the anxiety and stress that comes with a negative pregnancy test. It is important to deal with negative pregnancy tests with an open and positive mind because it will affect your future and your ability to continue the journey of trying to conceive. So, let’s get to it.


5 Steps to Dealing with a Negative Pregnancy

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1 Confirm that You’re Not Actually Pregnant

When you first see a negative pregnancy test, you may ask yourself if you could still be pregnant. All women trying to conceive ask themselves this question. So, it is totally normal.

It is still possible to get a negative pregnancy test and still be pregnant. In fact, false negative pregnancy tests are very common, and even more common than false positives. If you haven’t missed your period and are experiencing pregnancy symptoms, you could still be pregnant.

Take a pregnancy test at 15 days past ovulation which is about one day after you expect your period. A pregnancy test at that time would be highly accurate. Many women can’t wait the entire two week wait before testing, so they usually start testing at 7 dpo when pregnancy symptoms may begin to show. However, the chance of a false negative is very high at that time.

You could also be pregnant and get a false negative pregnancy test if your cycles are irregular. You could have ovulated later than you expected.

Unfortunately, you also have to accept the idea that maybe you got a negative pregnancy test because you are in fact not pregnant. It is hard to accept that, but it gets you closer to dealing with a negative pregnancy test positively. 

2 Let yourself cry and mourn.

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If you are sure you are not pregnant, it will be hard dealing with a negative pregnancy test. You may be feeling very sad and disappointed especially if you were convinced you were pregnant. I have been there. A major step in dealing with a negative pregnancy test is to let yourself mourn and cry it out.

The reality is negative pregnancy tests are hard to deal with and very distressing. Why should you hide your feelings or hold in your tears? Bottling up negative emotions can affect you physically. Let go of the negativity and tell yourself it is okay and stay hopeful. Remember, one day it will happen for you; it is just not now. Say that to yourself and move to the next step in dealing with a negative pregnancy test.

3 Don’t give in to your fears.

You should not give into the fears that arise when looking at a negative pregnancy test. You may believe you will never get pregnant, and you will never be a parent. If you can overcome these fears, the negative pregnancy tests would get easier.

Tell yourself that all these fears are false. They are just stories you made up in your mind. Getting many negative pregnancy tests does not mean you will never get pregnant or never be a parent. The more negative pregnancy tests you get, the more likely you would need some assistance in getting pregnant. It does not mean you are not going to get pregnant. Even if you are getting assistance, most women will get pregnant after the fourth cycle of treatment. So, ignore the false fears and be hopeful.

Also, even if you do never get pregnant, remember there are new ways to be a parent. Some of these options include surrogacy and adoption. You may not be able to experience the journey of pregnancy, but trust me when you hold a baby in your hands nothing would matter anymore. 

4 Talk to those you trust.

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As mentioned before, you should not bottle up your emotions. Talk to your friends and family about your journey of trying to conceive. It could be a very long journey. Talking about it to others can help you cope with the negative moments and feelings. They can help you in being more patient and staying positive.

Also, go out with your friends and family. Doing other things you enjoy can help you forget about the journey and destress yourself. You could also just start a new hobby. Some even say that keeping your mind off the journey can help you get pregnant by releasing stress. In fact, stress can mess up your cycle and cause late ovulation. Late ovulation usually leads to low quality eggs which are not great for pregnancy.

5 Think about the future.

When you get to a point you cannot tolerate seeing another negative pregnancy test, think about the future. We, as human beings, tolerate things better when we have a future plan for dealing with a problem.

If you have been trying to conceive for a while, it may be best to schedule an appointment with a fertility doctor. If you have been getting help, maybe it is best if you plan to change the course of treatment. Always, have a plan in mind. It will give you hope and positivity. If nothing is working, you could always talk to an adoption agency. Keep in mind, you can continue to try to conceive while going through the journey of adoption.

Dealing with the disappointment of a negative pregnancy test is hard.

Make sure you are actually not pregnant, cry it out, don’t think about the negative fears you may have, talk to those you trust, and think about the future. Following these steps will ease the journey of trying to conceive which could be a very long journey.

It’s easy to feel depressed about not getting pregnant, but remember that every woman’s journey to motherhood is different. Stay positive!


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